Truth Seeking is a Lifetime Job

by Suzanne Baran

I recently headed a Buddhist study meeting with two other women. The topic: belief and understanding.

I donned a white doctor's coat and examined the participants saying, "Let me see your eyes, stick out your tongue, breathe into this stethoscope," and then asked, "Do you think I can heal you? Even if you don't, you just let me examine you."

I quoted the Lotus Sutra (One of the most important and influential sutras, scriptures, of Mahayana Buddhism. The Lotus Sutra was translated by different schools and gained prominence as it spread through Central Asia into China, the Korean peninsula and Japan, mainly because of the universality of its message--that all people can attain enlightenment):

Though we may lack medical knowledge ourselves, that does not stop us from trusting in a doctor by allowing him/her to treat our illness. We look for three things -- a diploma -- documentary proof; one who has treated a large number of people -- proof of ability; and if the doctor's method of treatment is reasonable from a medical perspective...then all doubts are put to rest.

This is what we call reason or theoretical proof.

The modern age maintains the illusion that intellect is an independent faculty, divorced from belief. Yet aren't we now seeing that in fact many so-called modern notions -- such as materialism, actually rest on beliefs or premises that are entirely unexamined? Actions based within that realm have been the source of much suffering and turmoil.

After my presentation ended, a friend asked, "Suzanne what was your experience with this teaching? What did you gain personally?"

My own suffering played the largest role in my spiritual quest, I said. After my brother's death it hit me hardest that been though I was raised with one religion -- Judaism -- it wasn't the answer I was searching for.

I could not cling to something a 10th grade teacher once told me when I griped, "Why does what we read/study on paper never translate into life?" --"Don't base Judaism on Jews," she said.

Well if we can't base a faith on its practitioners, what kind of faith can we garner?

Do we have to look to all these oppressive laws meant to protect us in order to gain faith -- and if followers/practitioners 'keep' them, but still act inconsiderate, then how do these laws essentially help our collective consciousness?

There is so much more to my search for meaning, but in this context I will simply relate what's pertinent.

I was brutally teased for seeking other truths in an ultra-orthodox school. I gave Jews another chance, traveled to Canada, Israel, the UK -- LA, and found the same inconsistencies and oppression. Judaism rests on acceptance of G-d, acceptance of its teachings, and acceptance of your lineage.

I accept it but I don't agree with all of it.

In almost two years as a Nichiren Buddhist (A 13th century priest who said the Lotus Sutra's title should be chanted on a daily basis to put one in touch with their inner selves melding with the universe, tapping into vast and positive frequencies using repetition of the law leading to enlightenment) practitioner, I have ditched anti-depressants, therapy, self-destructive behavior(s), I quit smoking and have learned to rely on myself for my own happiness, for it will never be externally based.