I wish Steiner would fix his gate next door. It sits between our two houses. There's his house, then his gate, then my gate, then my house. Like that. I have a new gate. But his gate. Well. The rails are warped and it's missing a board and the hinges are shot and the whole thing sags. It sags down. An object of pity and scorn. Just plain ugly. And I've had a few go rounds with the man, talking with him in earnest about what they call pride of ownership and property values and everything going down the tubes real quick unless certain unnamed persons begin to straighten up and fly right, dropping little hints here and there like that but Steiner he stands there waggling that nasty old toothpick around in his mouth and says he doesn't give a good goddamn about it.

I wish Steiner would move.

Call the city. That's what Foley said when I showed him the gate the other day. Foley lives across the street.

Oh I know it, he said. I know all about it. I look at it every day. Awful. Get the city on him.

They're not gonna do anything. Steiner works for the city.

Since when.

Since I don't know but I know he does. He's a supervisor or something. Personnel or employee relations or I don't know what all. I just know he works there.

I thought he worked for the post office.

No. He quit that post office job. Just look at that gate. It's a crying shame.

He was making pretty good at the post office. What happened.

He got high notions. Had a big dustup with his boss. Said I quit and he did.

He's a hothead fool aint he. And stubborn.

Look at that goddamn gate.

Well.

It would cost him all of two dollars to fix that sonofabitch.

I caint figure it.

Two dollars and a handful of nails. But no.

We have to live with it. His mess.

Man with his money.

He's too busy.

Oh yeah he's too busy.

He's too busy with his boat. He aint got the time.

Oh yeah. His ski boat.

Did you see two weeks ago last Saturday what he done. He parked that big black sonofabitch in front of my house half the afternoon. What if I wanted to park there. Supposing I wanted to park there. Then what. What am I supposed to do. Go park in front of his house. Caint. Caint doer buddy. He's always got his pickup parked out there.

His pickup yeah.

Parked out there big as you please.

And his gate falling down like that.

He don't care.

Naw. He don't give a shit.

What do you do with trash like that.

Tell you what you ought to do.

Call the city on him.

Call on him yeah. That's what you ought to do.

Why don't you call on him. Who would I call.

Street maintenance.

What would they do. He aint got his boat out there no more.

He's creating what they call a public nuisance. They got rules against it. Even if you work for the city you have to play by the rules same as everybody else.

Rules against busted gates.

I reckon so. They got rules about all kinds of different things. You caint just let your place go to pot. For instance you don't mow your grass for three or four months. You sit around and don't do nothin. Throw your garbage in the yard. Whatnot. A body that don't like it can call up and tell on you and before you know it they's a city man knocking at your door saying you get out here and clean up this goddamn yard you damn pig you.

Steiner aint no different.

They'll come out and give him a citation. Give him thirty days. Make him fix that goddamn thing real quick.

Will he know who called on him.

I think it's privatelike. Like an informant.

I wish old Steiner would just fall over dead.

The sonofabitch.

So OK I call and I talk to street maintenance or ever who they are and I tell them about this here fellow what's got a broken gate and he don't care if the whole world know'd it and I think maybe they ought to think some about giving this old boy a citation or something or coming out and talking to him maybe the police or the district attorney man or something like that.

Yeah you got it.

So I tell them maybe I live in the neighborhood or maybe nearby around the neighborhood or I just drive by sometimes and I see that gate and it makes me sad because it's such a nice neighborhood if it weren't for some feller's goddamn brokendown gate what he don't give a shit about.

Yeah. They'll come out and write him up. They'll write him up good.

So then how do they know old Steiner fixed the gate or not. I mean I have to call them again or I don't worry about it or what.

He has to get an inspector to come look at it and show him he done what he said he would do otherwise he's got him a big fine and a bunch of problems and maybe the city they'll just up and fire his ass because the city don't want a bunch of commotion about no gate getting in the way of city business especially if the guy works for the city his ownself.

He has to set an example.

Yeah he does. He ought to. The lazy sonofabitch.

Lazy bastard.

Don't get me started.

Guy like that has got no pride.

He don't give a shit.

Who needs the aggravation.

The rest of us having to look at a busted old gate every day and every day the guy he don't do anything about it.

Pisses a feller off.

Yeah it does. Somebody ought to shoot the sonofabitch.

Blow his goddamn head off what I say.

Don't get me started.

12 gauge.

We quit. Foley said he had to get home and watch News at Noon. Said he wanted to watch the pictures come back from outer space from Mars out there from that rocket ship satellite gizmo thing Red Rover or Big Foot or ever what they call it going around and around and taking pictures like a State Farm adjuster working a total. Ask me I think Foley had to get home to watch News at Noon because he likes that Vicki Summers gal on there that does the weather. So what if he does. I like that other show that comes on just before Wheel. The one that has that other blonde gal on there I disremember right now what her name is but she does real good and she seems real nice and even my wife has nice things to say about her. Cute little old gal always smiling and happy and I believe she done her hair different this time. It was up high but now it's down low. Before we used to watch Tiffany Nolan on Channel 8 but we got tired of that and switched over to this other show though I reckon they don't matter too much which one you watch it's all the same weather anyway. The same weather same sun same sky same rain same damn thing over and over again until you're dead and gone over Jordan or Mars but then I guess it doesn't matter because you don't give a good goddamn about it anymore. Maybe old Steiner's right.