On June 12, 2001, twenty-four-year-old Erin Weed got shocking news that would change her life forever: Her close friend Shannon McNamara was murdered while fighting off an attacker in her apartment. Erin says, "I didn’t know what to do, who to call, what to think. Emotion took over and I cried. I felt like I was an actress in a horrible tragic play."

Erin says, "Shannon had a way of making everyone feel as if they were the most important person in the world. She was a very patient, generous and radiant person. She had amazing faith in herself and others. She didn’t dwell on herself because she was too busy helping others. I remember thinking to myself, ‘She’s such an angel.’"

  Erin (l) and Shannon

Shannon’s murder made Erin think about her own safety. She says, "It made the prevalence of violence against women my new daily reality. I went from being confident to being shattered by grief and anxiety. I was obsessive about locking doors, windows, checking behind me, etc. There is no worse emotion than to feel you are being hunted and are too weak to defend yourself."

To fight the fear, she decided to train at the American Women’s Self-Defense conference. "The more I learned, the more I knew I needed to share the knowledge with other women," she says, so she also became certified to teach. While still dealing with the loss of Shannon, she started teaching classes in her neighborhood. "I believe that until you make the move to help yourself, you can’t truly help others," she explains. "I am in grief counseling and encourage my students to seek professional help to deal with difficult issues."

Erin is proud of the success of her students. She says, "Often before my classes, my students look insecure--like their inner dialogues are saying, ‘You could never overcome a man!’ After my classes, it’s as if we all bolted into our phone booths and emerged as super women!" She feels that learning simple fighting techniques empowered her and other women, but she feels the fight is not over. She says, "I am not a fearless woman or a body building athlete or a self-help guru. I am merely a person who lost a very dear friend. I am sad and I am angry. I have seen the spark in women’s spirits. I am not going to stop motivating and teaching women until the day comes when men stop attacking women because they are afraid of getting their ass kicked."

Shortly after she began teaching, Erin founded her self-defense company, Girls Fight Back. She tours the nation, speaking at universities, high schools and corporations on self-defense and fear. She says, "I want to tell the women of the world that they are worth fighting for, and knowing how valuable and priceless we are as women is half the battle."

To this day, Erin cries and experiences anxieties, which she shares with her students. "I can’t tell you how many hugs I get after my classes, and I believe that as much as the women in my class see me as strong, they also know I am hurting, and they reach out. I don’t know what I’d do without the women who take my class because they are a part of my healing."

Girls Fight Back was a mission for Erin. "I did what I had to do in order to make it happen," she says. "When you find your mission or when it finds you, it’s interesting how you stop dwelling in self-doubt because you just don’t have time for it!" On her web site, she advises women on how to deal with obstacles and tragedy: "When there is no silver lining to a situation, you must create one." Erin created one by facing her fears and anger to make a positive change for her and others. She admits she still cries, but says, "Lately, my tears have been replaced with smiles. Sometimes when I need to make a difficult decision, I wonder what Shannon would do. So when I become very sad, I picture her wonderful smile. So I smile with her."

Check out Erin’s article on self-defense in the April issue of CosmoGIRL and check out Girls Fight Back!